Hello creative fairy,

I’ve got goosebumps sharing my latest art journal page, because this one is so symbolic and meaningful to me. The first thing I want to say is tha it can feel so much easier, and so tempting, to only show the pretty side of things, right? Especially online. Pretty art, a pretty smile... But that's not the whole truth of who we are as human beings navigating this messy world.

And yet, despite the struggles, the feelings of powerlessness, sadness, grief, anger, being lost, or whatever else you might be feeling that's really not "pretty" at all, there's art. And there's hope. Because when we unleash all this mess on a canvas or an art journal, or whatever your favorite kind of art might be, then we can start building something new from there. Something true, honest and eventually, beautiful.

That’s why this art journal page, which turns out to be one of my favorite I ever created, started with a messy and dark background full of angry journaling. And that’s OK.

A story of stolen wings

Pretty soon, I knew I wanted to create a fairy on top of this background and I already had an image left from another project. But first, I need to give you a little back story.

The other day I was watching one of my favorite movies, the Disney live action “Maleficent”. Contrary to popular belief, she’s a gentle and weirdly beautiful young fairy, who heals trees and plays with her fellow fairy folk. Then she grows up to become the strongest of the fairies, and the fierce guardian of the magical realm, protecting it against the greed of nearby humans, whose king wants to conquer it. He wants her gone, defeated, reduced to nothingness. He fails on the battlefield, but treachery is what brings her down.

There’s this heart-breaking scene where she wakes up to realize that her wings, her beautiful, powerful, eagle-like wings are gone. Stolen in a drug-induced sleep. Only two deep, burning wounds remains. Her cry in that scene is so deep and powerful. It moves me to my core every single time. I think, maybe, we’ve all felt that primal cry in our bellies and our throats at some point in our lives, even if we never allowed ourselves to let it out.

Then, after stumbling, grieving, learning to walk with a staff and retreating to some dark ruins away from the magical land she loves, Maleficent becomes filled with hatred and the will for revenge. She turns a crow into a man so he can fly and spy for her, but she no longer flies herself.

And I can’t help but wonder: with all her magic and power, why didn’t she try to heal her own wounds? Why didn’t she give herself the gift of new wings, even if they could never be the same as before? Why did she choose to keep herself wounded, diminished and full of hatred? She used to have a kind, loving and trusting heart, but it got shattered into a million pieces. Eventually though, the story leads her to find her way back to love and even forgiveness. But what if she had made that choice from the start?

What if?…..

So this page in my art journal is a “What if?”. The word “Surrender” showed up early in the process, I let it sit on my table and it became more meaningful the more I looked at it.

Yes we hurt, we grieve, we get betrayed, lost, overwhelmed. Yes, some of the things life throws at us can feel utterly unfair and unbearable, and we might wake up one day with that same raw cry of disbelief and despair. But what if?…

What it there was healing waiting on the other side? What happens when we make the conscious (not easy, nor obvious) choice to surrender. To still keep and nurture the faintest glimmer of hope and trust. Of light?

That’s how some beautiful new wings started making their way towords my fairy. They’re mismatched and imperfect, but also full of new joy and color. And she surrenders. She waits. She trusts that whatever comes her way will be the right fit, the right next step into the unknown, and that she will learn to fly again.

Here’s the finished page…..

And the process from start to finish

Real beauty

Let’s be real: when we want to make art that’s true and authentic, not every emotion we express is going to be pretty. Yes, sometimes we’ll start with a background that’s soft and soothing, or joyful and colorful, but other times, all we can manage is a hot, ugly mess of hurt and anger, gloomy thoughts and yucky feelings. And THAT’S OK. Because just like in life, it doesn’t mean we can’t build something new and BEAUTIFUL on top.

Beautiful and pretty are two different things.
Beautiful can be raw and vulnerable.
Beautiful can be dark and messy.

Beautiful can be the healing process of taking back our power over those dark thoughts, and choosing to work our way up towards the light, layer by layer, step by step, with self-compassion, in art as in life.

So that’s what this page in my art journal is about. In the movie, even as a little girl, Maleficent was not what you’d call “pretty”. But she was utterly beautiful. And so are you, so are we all, each of us a fairy in her own right.

Sending you hugs and fairy dust wherever you are,

Light & Love

Scroll down and tell me in a comment…..

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